Audacity is Really All You Need

Imagine what we could do if we just did the thing? No, seriously. Why not?

Early last year, I went to an industry event, one full of South Asian creatives, all there to support one another. It was wonderful to see everyone, talk to everyone and see what everyone was working on. When people asked me what I was doing for the rest of my weekend, I told them I was going to the ballet.

This is not new for me, I adore ballet, dancing it (poorly) and going to see and support the ballet (sorry Timothèe). However, when these people, who are all in the arts as people of colour (who I would argue inherently have some guts) asked me ‘how do you have the audacity to show up there?’

This question stumped me. I just showed up. I always felt welcome, I always enjoyed myself. I asked for clarification, apparently they all felt like they wouldn’t be welcome there as people of colour. This was a little absurd to me, the Australian Ballet may not have the most diverse performers in the world, but they have stated time and time again that the ballet is for everyone. After all, without people in seats, they don’t make money either.

They kept going, a small group of women, who I would argue have a lot of audacity, dissecting mine. I sat in my car afterwards and thought about it. I don’t have that much audacity at all, I just participate in what I like…so do I really have that much audacity myself? Or does it just look like I do?

Courtesy of Pinterest

---

Audacity is scary

Audacity is frightening. People are watching you go from awkwardly trying something to getting confident in it. People are judging, even if they say they aren’t. It’s just human nature. People are comparing…actually we’re comparing. Ourselves with others, the instructors, the other people who are more comfortable in these spaces. People who came better dressed, better prepared, know what they’re doing. Add to this that we’re also pressuring ourselves to ‘never give up’ that sometimes when something doesn’t suit us we pretend to ourselves it has to fit.

Being you is an act of audacity

In a world of trends, people giving you advice and people saying things are cool, being yourself takes the most willpower and audacity ever. Because it takes accepting you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. In my case, if you ever meet me in person, you’ll notice I wear a lot of dark tones. I like them. My friends still tell me often, that I’d look less intimidating and book more gigs if I wore more colour. But I like it, so I refuse. This also goes for being yourself in situations where speaking up about something or in defence of or against someone is required.

Yes and no take audacity

This is one we don’t talk about enough. Saying no when you’re feeling uncomfortable, unsafe or being pressured to do something, and saying yes despite fears, a lack of confidence and overthinking are tough. No matter how much older I get, I still find myself asking why so many questions. Do I feel unsafe, do I need to show up for this person? Do I even care? I ask myself questions and then politely accept, decline or reschedule, or even do nothing based on the need. Right now, saying no feels very scary. Especially when money is attached to it.

Audacity takes teamwork

I noticed the other day, that when someone new trials our ballet class, it’s like we become the nicest people ever. We make an effort to learn their name, our teachers check in on them, we make conversation about their background in ballet, what their interests are. Why? Because we were there once too. You can’t have audacity without someone in your corner. Or at least you need to be in your corner. Then you give out an energy where people want to join you in that corner.

Audacity is a means to an end

Audacity is most often the stepping stone it takes to get somewhere. It’s the first step in like five hundred other steps. It’s playing the game even if you don’t know all the rules or have anyone to help you figure it out, even if the game is rigged and you know it. Audacity needs to be applied and re-applied to start, keep going and stop when necessary. Or even stop permanently.

Social media is anti-audacity

You might think you have to have audacity to post on social media. I would say, yes in part. But unless you curate your algorithm very well, most people find the act of ‘trying’ to be cringe. They want perfection on their feed. They want to support fault-free, perfect angels who never stumble once. So if you start posting about you trying something out, unless you happen to have the loveliest community supporting you...most people will be mean. Especially if you tap into a very vocal community. Keep this one in mind, It’s the reason a lot of people I know never start things they want to do. Or they get discouraged midway. The internet can be scary.

---

One day I'd like to be able to do all these things alone.

I need more audacity too. I don’t like networking events, or approaching strangers. I don’t like self promotion, it feels inauthentic and fake to get ‘followers’. I dislike anything but my merit speaking for myself. I don’t like standing out too much. I don’t like eating dinner out alone. I don’t like talking about my work. I don’t think I could ever go clubbing alone. I am scared at being bad at ‘artistic’ things, like it’ll seep into my ability to write and infect it.

Audacity is what it takes to get out of our comfort zone, and it’s led by a positive result on the other side. I will have the audacity to network more, because it will lead to more career opportunities. Even if it’s awkward, and uncomfortable, I will practice, so one day I can do it easily and maybe even teach other people how to do it too.

That’s all audacity is. The energy it takes, the sheer balls, the confidence and understanding to get started, keep trying and stop or rest when needed.

So let’s all help each other out, lift each other up, light a fire inside ourselves and find some audacity. Or we won’t ever get anywhere we want to go.